Children push buttons...why and what does that mean exactly?

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Children push buttons...why and what does that mean exactly?

"NO, I DON'T WANT TO GO WITH YOU, I'D RATHER GO WITH DAD". IT SEEMS LIKE A BANALITY AND YET THIS STATEMENT CAN HURT SO MUCH THAT YOU ASK YOURSELF: WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME? USUALLY FOLLOWED BY ANGER AND THE EXPECTATION TO STAND ABOVE IT - AND THE CONFLICT IS ALREADY SPARKED. WHERE DOES THIS OVERREACTION COME FROM?

One possible explanation for such feelings are experiences in life, mostly from childhood, in which emotional experiences are formative. For example, when I felt ignored, invisible and not worthy enough by parents or siblings. Then this wound is activated and the current impulse is accompanied by a wave of pain from the past. You can also notice this by feeling like a child, childish in a way, in the situation itself.

HOW DO I DEAL WITH IT?

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Time for me? Why the thought alone is not enough...What is the driving force?

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Time for me? Why the thought alone is not enough...What is the driving force?

We are in the pre-Christmas period, the time of reflection and enjoyment. Words that in all likelihood do not match reality, because most of the time it looks quite different. In addition to the normal everyday life, the Christmas to-do list comes on top of it and thus the illusion, a Christmas full of energy, moves into the far distance. It feels more like a marathon through twinkling lights, gingerbread and wrapping paper, which has most likely the consequence on Christmas Eve to fall asleep exhausted. How should it be possible to follow the tips to enjoy the pre-Christmas season after all? The good news is - it's possible.

How, we now do together step by step. This begins with looking at the Christmas list and asking yourself, what of it is fun for me and what of it is pure fulfillment of external expectations? For now, just let this realization set, because the thought alone to shorten the list afterwards is not enough to change anything. The inner manager working off the Christmas list is focused on a perfect Christmas, and the mere idea of shortening it will not dissuade him. It's like telling a fireman who is putting out a fire that he only needs to put out half of it. That sounds just as absurd to him.

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Emotions: The opportunity to avoid conflicts?

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Emotions: The opportunity to avoid conflicts?

In the last article I wrote about self-care and how important it is to live your own world as a parent to have energy for the world of others around you. Also as a role model not to hide or even suppress your own feelings. Children notice this quickly and often think they are to blame. Therefore it is important to explain yourself and speak up for your feelings early on, also to avoid bursting in the wrong place.

If only it were that simple, "Explain myself and speak for my feelings". Do I even know what I should explain and what I feel? And if so, do I allow myself my feelings and ultimately accept them? Because only then can I also speak for them. The answer is, I have to become aware of myself. But how? My girlfriend recently told me that her son, when he does sports, always approaches it with full fervor and has the professionals as a role model. In soccer it's Manuel Neuer, in skating it's Mr. XY. He always says "I want to be like...", grabs his soccer ball or skateboard and is off through the door. She told him why it always had to be the best, why not lower the bar? They started to argue about it and her son accused her of "Stop ruining everything for me”.

I asked her what she was afraid of? She said that he would be disappointed not to be able to reach his role models. What is happening here?

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Self-Care...why is it so important?

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Self-Care...why is it so important?

A homage to motherhood…

I like to compare motherhood to the juggler in the circus who tries to hold all the plates on the sticks at the same time...so it often feels like doing justice to all our roles, the mother role, the business role, the partner role, the girlfriend role, the daughter role, etc., just to name a few. All of these roles are involved in keeping the Career, Family and Friends organization going, which begins and ends with all the appointments for family members and yourself.

Yourself...there was something? We all know the point where you think, who am I actually? Since the structure of the professional and private system consumes infinite energy. At the end of the day you just fall into bed hoping everyone will sleep through the night.

What can you do to fulfil your own roles with élan and fun?

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How can I strengthen the self-confidence of others?

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How can I strengthen the self-confidence of others?

My last blog was about how to strengthen your own self-confidence. When we strengthen our own, it has a ripple effect on others as well. We trust ourselves, are mentally free and make decisions with clarity. We are authentic and binding at the same time. This creates compassion and motivates not only ourselves but also others. If we are parents or superiors, in both cases we are leading a system, a team of people, which is dependent on our interaction with them. In the case of children even dependent, because they do not have the freedom, like an employee, to simply leave.

Let us dive into the four pillars of self-consciousness and how we can use them this time to strengthen the self-consciousness of other people in our environment.

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How do you recognize the right time to set a boundary?

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How do you recognize the right time to set a boundary?

For my last blog I got the question, how do you feel your boundaries and how do you recognise the right time to set a boundary? This is a great question, to answer it we have to start somewhere else.

Why is it so important to go after what is good for me - life is not a wish concert after all?

The good news, but that's it, because there are many areas in which we have control to make a difference, it's just a question of what is stopping us? Let's start with the smallest unit that does us good - our 5 senses. Let's start thinking about writing down what is good for you in each of the 5 senses? What do I like to smell, what do I like to see and hear, what do I like to taste and feel? Once the list is complete, we consciously incorporate it into our daily routine - and there is always time for that. You can create real rituals, what does my morning look like, what do I do to feel good after my morning routine? Exactly what does my evening look like, what do I do to slowly descend and switch off? Can I sleep well afterwards? When you start this, it becomes clear how the body wants to have more of these positive messenger substances that are emitted by the pleasant feeling, because these energy boosters boost inner motivation and productivity. The more we listen to our body what is good for me, the more we will understand what is not good for me. This means that setting a limit to the feeling becomes clearer.

From which energy sources does our body draw?

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