I would like to use this blog to keep in touch with you, my clients, in order to accompany you as we continue to balance ourselves with the tools of self-leadership in times of the Corona crisis, which demands a lot from us. I also want to use this block to teach you, who are not yet familiar with the model, the Self-Leadership Tools step by step, so that times like these are easier to manage. Whether it is about the dynamics in the office with team, colleagues and superiors or a new dynamic in quarantine with the whole family, self-leadership is needed in both areas, namely "how do I manage myself" and "what is the resulting handling of my environment?

Now is the time to understand more in order to get through the crisis well.

I read a great interview with the psychologist Gerd Gigerenzer about the current corona situation and would like to quote the following from him: It is important in such situations to keep a clear head. Now is the time to understand more in order to get through the crisis well. That hits the nail on the head. It is not only about understanding the situation of the crisis and the disease, but also about understanding oneself (self-leadership) in the dynamics of quarantine. This alone gives strength and new energy to master the special circumstances.

Not only the family in quarantine is a system, also we ourselves, we consist of several roles, which becomes clear just now in the situation where we are at home in quarantine. We have the mother/father role, the business role in the home office, the teacher and kindergarten teacher role, the partner role, daughter/son role, etc. to name just a few and each of these roles wants to meet the requirements and on top of that has different feelings, which are working at full speed right now. Keeping all these roles in harmony, that they are not in conflict with each other, takes a lot of energy and is an enormous challenge in an extreme situation like this.

How can I keep all my roles in harmony to avoid inner conflicts?

The most important thing here is not to lose the big picture, but to accept, to understand that everything has two sides. This crisis brings both good and bad. It is important to see your own shadow side, to allow yourself to see it and not to flee to the sunny side with platitudes like "everything will be all fine" when it just doesn’t feel like it. Then the shadow side needs attention, acceptance, then the pendulum swings back to the sunny side - this is how we stay in balance. Feelings of the shadow side are for example sadness, fear, anger. They come as an impulse and have a beginning and an end, but only if they can be processed. If we suppress them, they accumulate to emotional stress. At the same time we develop protectors (other parts in our system) such as the Rage, the Frustration, the Pleaser, which act as "the big brother/defender" of the emotional stress.

How can I avoid that feelings accumulate and protectors go into action?

It is important to make a U-turn, to yourself to your feelings and to acknowledge and discuss feelings in order to better understand yourself. Fear, for example, is a signal that says, “stay alert” to be able to judge what to do next. However, when fear becomes a permanent state, it becomes emotional stress. How can you consciously avoid this? Mr Gigerenzer said about this in his interview: Thinking helps, but it also takes courage to use our minds without leading others. Growing up means becoming risk-competent and burying the illusion of safety. We should try to take back into our own hands the remote control of our emotions by fellow human beings whose emotional reactions infect us when we assess risks. Especially now it is important, how to find my own balance in the flood of daily news? What and who do I believe and what and who not.

Which emotions play a role in our quarantine?

If we look at the individual roles in quarantine, which all feel different emotional stress, the mother/father role wants to make it as entertaining as possible for the children and convey the situation in a child-oriented way, in the job you want to continue to meet the demands, but it is often difficult to do so because you cannot concentrate as much in the home office and also have less time, the partner roles are strained because a new rhythm requires a new structure at home, the daughter/son role worries about the parents and the boyfriend/girlfriend role misses the social contacts. Emotions of all kinds, conflicts arise, not only within ourselves, but also among each other. Our normality has changed, more change from now on. On top of that the fear/worries about the future, whether professionally or privately, what will be the effects of the virus. This all sounds more like a washing machine run than a fun swing.

What can I do to keep my balance in all this?

Give yourself the time to grow into this challenge of the crisis, accept the quarantine in portions and allow and process your emotions step by step. Each role just consumes an enormous amount of energy. Dose your energy, do energy management. Reduce the demands, say "I am enough" and at the same time pat yourself on the shoulder how greatly you master this situation. Even if it seems that there is no time for self-care, there is. Self-care begins with the small things, with our five senses. What is good for you, what can be implemented in quarantine? Every latte macchiato you take time for to drink, a great breath of fresh air, watching the sun glistening on the water or doing sports and much more of your-5-senses-choice, doing all this consciously - will do good for you. It is also important to laugh and to smile at others, because connection is a booster. I understand, if some people don't feel like laughing right now, but don't forget that we also have a humour part, which is immensely important, because it pays into our energy account. All of this, and even if it is so small it goes straight into this account and gives new energy for this challenge.

In the next post - how do I deal with the emotions of my children and spouse? If you have questions or would like to share experiences, please do so, I am happy about every contribution.

Warmest,

Birgit Rohm

Expert in Self-Leadership

Blog-Link: https://www.mediocoaching.com/blog-english